3 mindset lessons from the Don't Die event
Accomplish more, survive extreme scenarios, and thrive in daily life.
Post summary
Two Percent recently held the Don’t Die event in the desert outside Las Vegas.
We’re covering three mindset lessons from that event.
They’ll help you stay safe, reach goals, and live longer and better.
Housekeeping
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Audio/podcast version
The post
The Don’t Die event went down last weekend.
I’m reminded of that Jack Kerouac quote, “The only people for me are the mad ones …”
Magic happens when you get a great group of like-minded people together, go outside, and learn and practice some truly rad stuff together.
My friend Mike Moreno and I covered all sorts skills that are critical for survival in hostile situations at home and abroad. Everything from escaping handcuffs, staying safe in a hotel, Don’t Die fitness, getting information from others, driving techniques, and staying vigilant, healthy, and sane in the trenches of daily life.
We also had a special guest appearance from one of Mike’s friends from his pre-CIA days in Iraq. Mohannad was born in Baghdad, worked with US Forces for a decade, then moved to America where he earned his citizenship and continues to serve. Mohannad helped defeat ISIS in two different countries and had some great wisdom to share with the group.
The course included lessons in mindset. That’s because your mindset determines how you express critical skills, live well, and survive. This could include surviving a natural disaster, a dangerous situation during travel, or even a scary health diagnosis. Plus, the right mindset helps you live and perform better every day.
Here are three mindset lessons I’m thinking about after the event …
1. Be nice. Always.
Section summary: In rare scenarios, being nice can save your life. In daily life, being kind can help others, get you perks, improve your physical and mental health, and more.
When I was in Iraq reporting on the drug trade, I was like the Ned Flanders of Baghdad: the happiest, kindest human being in that city.
And that’s because:
People are less likely to kill people they like.
People are more likely to help people they like.
I made eye contact and smiled at everyone I interacted with. I gave compliments. I met the person’s energy where it was and asked them how they were doing.
That could have made the difference between, say, a hotel clerk deciding not to give out my room key to a criminal offering them money (this scam even happens in the US) or my driver being-hyper alert to keep me safer.
Likability is a crucial skill. And not just in conflict zones.
It doesn’t matter if you’re traveling Baghdad or Boston or interacting with your boss or a barista—the mindset of treating others well and being likable keeps you safer, gets you ahead, and helps you live long and well.
Being likable starts with being kind.
I believe that most people are kind deep down. But we don’t always show it. We get busy and frustrated and lost in our heads—and we forget that every interaction matters.
Kindness helps us more than we think. Consider:
A UK Survey of 60,000 people found that a kind boss is critical for retaining good employees. Workers who thought their boss was kind were more likely to stay at their company for at least another year.
Another large survey in the US found that likable leaders were rated more effective. It also found that very few leaders were rated low in likability, suggesting being likable gets you ahead at work.
People who are treated kindly perform better, according to research from Arizona State University. The study focused on employees, but the logic extends to students and people you hire for odd jobs and interact with daily.
One study found that people who were kind and helpful to others were better able to buffer stress and lived longer.
Other research suggests being kind lowers heart disease risk factors and even relieves pain.
And in my own life, I’ve been upgraded on flights, gotten better service, had fees removed, received free drinks and desserts, and so much more by truly giving a shit about the person I’m interacting with and being nice to them.
But being kind is, of course, not just about us. It’s about the other person, too.
You have no idea how someone’s day is going—whether they have a sick kid at home, the pressures in their life, and more. You have daily opportunities to improve the lives of all the people you meet just by being caring and kind.
A few tips:
Make eye contact, smile, and communicate clearly.
Ask someone how they are and how their day is going.
Ask other questions and find connections.
For example, to the worker you see at the coffee shop in the morning: “What time did your shift start this morning? … 4 A.M.? Oh, wow, I worked at a donut shop once. We started at 5 A.M. I thought that was early—but you get the prize here …”
Modulate this based on the scenario and who you are. For example, some women might not want to be too friendly and chatty to a male counterpart in some settings for fear the guy may take it the wrong way (a fact that a couple of our participants pointed out). There’s a grey area in those situations—use your judgement, adapt on the fly.
But in the majority of interactions in daily life, I’d err on the side of kindness.
P.S. This point about kindness feels especially important this election week.